JOKES AND FUNNY STORIES

Comment

Comment by DestinationDawn on July 22, 2012 at 2:00pm

Ha Ha!!!! You Got me!!! Funny one!!!

Comment by Don Bob Bush on May 30, 2012 at 3:30pm

Good one Steve...LOL

Comment by STEVE TROYER on May 30, 2012 at 9:41am

A great time to visit Grandpa and Grandma over the holiday weekend was expected when pulling into their driveway we noticed grandpa sitting in the front porch swing without his pants on....we made the kids use the back door and walked slowly toward the gallant old WWII veteran...'DO YOU REALIZE YOU DONT HAVE ANY PANTS ON?' ...he said it was grandmas idea...LAST WEEK I WAS OUT HERE WITHOUT MY SHIRT AND GOT A STIFF NECK.

Comment by Don Bob Bush on December 31, 2011 at 6:42am

A man has lost his wife in the supermarket and approaches a woman he's never met before. "Hi, I've lost my wife, do you mind if I talk to you for a moment?" he asks.
"Why in the world do you want to speak to me?"
He replied, "Because whenever I speak to a woman with breasts your size, my wife appears out of nowhere!!"

Comment by Don Bob Bush on August 4, 2011 at 8:02pm

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed...... On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed...... On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again...... On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

Comment by Don Bob Bush on July 30, 2011 at 2:14pm

A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You foreigners Come in. Come into my humble shop." So the married couple walked in.

The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex hero he was.

The husband asked the man, "how could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

The Pakistani man replied, "Why don't you try them on and see for yourself?"

Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years -- raw sexual power. In a blink of an eye, the husband rushed the Pakistani man, threw him on the table and started tearing at the guy's pants. All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"

Comment by STEVE TROYER on June 30, 2011 at 12:39am

A new drink was invented by a local bartender....its called USAMA....It contains 2 shots and a splash of salt water

Comment by STEVE TROYER on June 27, 2011 at 9:35am

Irish twins are born in Dublin and when they grow up they make a pact to always order two beers at a time and think kindly of the brother as they drink the first beer and of course the other beer is for themselves...One twin moves away to New York City and becomes quite famous locally because he would always order 2 beers at a time in all the beer gardens...this goes on for many years until one night he only orders one beer and quietly walks to a corner table...the bartender is worried that his brother has died and gingerly approaches with the tray..."So Patty, I hope your brother Gerald is well! ....."Oh yes, Gerald is feeling well, as for me I have been sick and decided to quit drinking!"

Comment by Gary Alan Adkins on June 27, 2011 at 1:12am

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, why the long face? A little bit of humour, very little! Thanks for the invite! Take Care, GA

Comment by Don Bob Bush on April 5, 2011 at 4:56pm

Good one Ronnie....!

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next ›
• Page